Something To Gnaw On

The Pro's & Con's of a "Don't Care" Attitude

• Nathan Vainio • Season 2 • Episode 14

Share episode

Think back to a moment from your childhood that still stings – for me, Nate Vainio, it was a seemingly trivial reading mishap that echoed far beyond the classroom walls. Join me as I unravel how a burst of laughter at a mispronounced word can shape a 'don't care' shell, designed to shield from vulnerability but often leading to a spiritual disconnect. In today's heartfelt episode, we traverse the shadows of our past to see how God longs for us to take it to Him!

As we navigate these waters together, we'll reflect on the poignant story of Ephraim from Jeremiah 31:18-20, where a blend of deep remorse and divine compassion teaches us that hurt has a place in God's plan for restoration, not shame. Pain, though an unwelcome companion, can often be the compass that directs us back to a path of  healing.  I'd challenge you to embrace life's uncomfortable exposures with faith in God's unwavering grace and capacity to what we think of as impossible.

Our main listening site
www.somethingtognawon.com

Our Merch Store
www.somethingtognawon.myshopify.com

Our email
somethingtognawon@gmail.com or nvainiosr@gmail.com

Luke Taylor's You Tube Chanel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX8ajOxYJ_uvW3tQH1iJ-Fw

www.youtube.com/@CrossReferencesPodcast

“UPBEAT – ACCOUSTIC”

Used By Permission

Music by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/stockaudios-28301327/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=music&amp;utm_content=113986">Stockaudios</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=music&amp;utm_content=113986">Pixabay</a>

Nathan Vainio:

This is Something to Nod, a short, parable-styled devotional for the Christian, with a short attention span designed to give you something to mentally or spiritually nod throughout your day. And I'm Nate Vainio, your host. Today's episode is the pros and cons of a don't care attitude. I was called upon to read. I've never been a good public reader, and this episode of life would expose that fact. I stood up and began to read from my trembling book. Every now and then the teacher would correct me, but overall I thought I was doing reasonably well, until I hit the word hour, h-o-u-r. I stumbled a bit, I paused, the teacher sat back and let me weave the rope that I would hang myself with. I'm sure it was mere seconds, but it seemed like an eternity In my mind. I processed the proper pronunciation. The easy thing to do here would have been to knock off the H and say hour like sour or scour. But far be it from me to do what's easy. I chose the sound of your and poor, and for I knocked off the Y of your, which would sound like or, and I added the H back to the word and I blurred it out.

Nathan Vainio:

Whore Hooked on phonics did not work for me that day. Half the class laughed. The other half seemed oblivious to the words meaning. Nonetheless, they seemed amused by the break in monotony. I was incredibly embarrassed. The teacher seemed to think that I had done enough reading for one day and asked me to take my seat. It's amazing how fast self-preservation could kick into gear. I began to laugh with those who were laughing at me, as if to say yeah, I meant to say that so I could get out of reading. I know how it's pronounced H O O E R. Who are you know, as in tour T O U R. Anyhow, joking would become my way of maintaining composure or control amid an embarrassing or uncomfortable situation.

Nathan Vainio:

Sitting there, I began to realize a few things. First, being exposed in front of people for your weakness is highly embarrassing and shameful and it should be avoided at all cost. I wasn't a good student. I didn't do my homework regularly. It's one thing to write an assignment that gets you a D or an F. It's a completely different scenario when you earn that grade at the podium in front of your peers. Being laughed at leaves a lasting impression, especially when that laughter goes on for days or longer. Lesson learned Avoid this exposure, embarrassment and shame like the plague.

Nathan Vainio:

Secondly, and almost simultaneously, I saw the horror in my it humors me as I use the word H O R R O R and I saw that in my teacher's eyes, and she was on the verge of losing control of the class. What teacher wants to explain to the parents of their child why they came home and use this particular vocabulary word for the day? What teacher wants to explain this scenario to administration? She didn't see this coming and she most certainly didn't like it. The lesson learned here, and proven as time marches on, was that my behavior could keep the teacher from calling on me and putting me in a potentially vulnerable position in the future. We had a mutual standoff, in effect then. She didn't call on me during class and I didn't upset her control of the class. Every now and then I'd fire a little shot across the bow and remind her who the boss was. I might have ended up in the office a time or two doing so, but it worked. It was better to be in trouble for being a rebel than for being exposed for the underachieving student that I was. I never got called upon again in that class and, believe it or not, I was only in the fourth grade. What an unfortunate lesson for a young kid to learn.

Nathan Vainio:

Hide your imperfections. Work more on hiding them than you do on correcting them. It is better to get in trouble for minor things than it is to be humiliated or exposed for who you really are. Life is full of moments that threaten to expose us. So have a plan, have a facade, have a deflection device ready, have a crutch, have an escape strategy and by all means, live on guard. So here's the dilemma.

Nathan Vainio:

Adam and Eve experienced this immediately after their sinful dinner. Immediately, they covered up, and when they hear God coming for an intimate walk in the garden, what do they do? They hide. The evil twins of cover up and hide reveal themselves at the beginning of the book. Instead of having an enjoyable and intimate walk with God, they are taken to the woodshed, where intimacy is lost, and in the midst of a holy God. The sin has to be dealt with if there's going to be any future of intimacy.

Nathan Vainio:

We have a natural tendency to hide things in life. There's a hundred dollar bill hidden somewhere at my mom and dad's house, because one of my nephews loved to play hide and seek with objects when he was a toddler. He just had a hard time finding some of those items. That's been about 15 years ago now. It may not be a deviant secondary lifestyle that you'd see on 2020 or 48 hours, no second family in another town or gambling habit resulting in major corporate fraud. It may not be ugly by worldly standards, but it's just as deadly, if not more. Some hide ulterior motives and selfish motives and try to disguise our decisions or our perspectives and rationales as wisdom or as a decision that's made in the best interest of the family or somebody else. Some hide resentment as if it would eventually go away, yet nurse it behind the scenes.

Nathan Vainio:

For today, this is what I call exposure number one and if left unattended, unaltered and unhealed, this eventually leads to what I would call the I don't care attitude, which is an incredibly dangerous place to be. It says I know I shouldn't, or I know I should, but I'm not going to and I don't care. This dangerous place is really a fork in the middle of the road for you. One path is a commitment to dig into sin and hopefully kill the pain somehow and perpetuate the problem at the same time. Unfortunately, this is accompanied by a total disregard for the consequences. The other path says God, I don't care what happens or what's exposed, just have your way in my life, no matter how painful it is. I don't care, break me down and do with me what you please. Ultimately it's desperation. The potential pain and humiliation of exposure number one is eclipsed by the exhaustion of doing so. It's a brutally exhausting process to keep up the hiding game and it leads to exposure number two, no matter how severe or tame, nothing motivates so quickly as your own pain.

Nathan Vainio:

I had a painful problem hidden in a sock buried in my right shoe. I had a brutal ingrown toenail. That wasn't as much the problem, as the infection was Eventually on. I could deal with the pain. I tried to remedy it myself by cutting it back a little further, sometimes to the point in which it bled, unfortunately or jamming something underneath it to prop it up to keep it from cutting into the skin. But it only made it worse. It escalated to the point where I couldn't wear socks or shoes. The contact produced a perpetual pain, so I had to wear flip flops or sandals. Soon I couldn't even walk on it properly, so I had to walk on the side of my foot, eventually straining my ankle. I would prop my foot up and yell at the kids for running around the house because the vibration in the floor would exaggerate the pain in the infected toe. They weren't doing anything wrong, of course, but an infection like that exaggerates the impact of ordinary activities.

Nathan Vainio:

One night I rolled over in my sleep and I kicked the bed post. I woke up instantly with a shooting pain in my toe that ran up my leg. My scream woke everyone up, you might say. My level of pain motivated me to finally call the doctor first thing in the morning. When I eventually got to the doctor's office, they had me sit up on the exam table. He and his military bedside manner came in and the first thing he did was poke that toe. Every muscle in my body tensed up and I felt like I jumped from a completely horizontal position. I just about kicked him. He excused himself and returned a few minutes later with a pretty large bottle and a syringe designed for a horse. He gave me a shot in the high ankle, then in the actual ankle, then the arch, then the ball of the big toe. He gave me about five minutes between each shot, so the anesthesia would kick in and I wouldn't feel the next one as much as I would have without it. When he got to the infected toe I shouldn't have looked, but I did he jammed the needle straight into the toe from the front, right under the toenail, not once or twice. Three times he loaded that toe up. What couldn't be touched with a finger moments ago was on the receiving end of a needle, without me kicking or screaming like a sissy.

Nathan Vainio:

The only accomplishment thus far was that the toe was now simply ready to be worked on. Call it half time, as the anesthesia needed to set in so he could do unspeakable things to my toe. Minutes later he came back in and slapped some iodine on my toe and opened up the tray with his surgical utensils. Please note the high degree of sarcasm with this term surgical. The only thing that made them surgical was that they were made of stainless steel and wrapped in the blue cloth that they usually use. I have the same stuff in my garage, minus the blue cloth. They were basic wire cutters and needle nose vise grips. That was it.

Nathan Vainio:

He took the wire cutters and cut the toenail down the middle, just enough to get ahold of the nail with the needle nose pliers. He then took said pliers and locked on to the nail. Have you ever opened a can of sardines? That's what he did to the toenail. He rolled it all the way back to the nail bed and paused. He lucked up with almost a sadistic grin, adjusted his grip on the pliers and gave a quick but powerful tug and he yanked that toenail out in its entirety, by the root. It's amazing what all those shots will allow a doctor to do. I've always found it intriguing what he said. After that, I asked what I needed to do to make sure that it grew back without getting engrown again. His answer, quote no need to worry about that. I got it out by the root and it's not growing back. What a lesson.

Nathan Vainio:

Trusting the right person with your pain ultimately brings healing. Using those hurts and the nastiness of life to the great physician is the best thing that anyone can do. Sure, it's scary, but ask these questions Does God love us? Yes, yes, he does. Is God a liar? No, not at all. The first time Jesus is recorded as speaking in the synagogue, he quotes from Isaiah, quote the Spirit of the Lord is upon me Because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord". That is Isaiah 61, quoted by Jesus in Luke 4. My doctor didn't just numb me up so he could stop the pain. He did so to get the problem out by the root and, dare I say, god wants to do the same with us.

Nathan Vainio:

This exposure number one can be accidental or intentional, but is designed to bring hurt and humiliation, condemnation and shame. It results in crutches and facades to avoid exposure in the future. It creates facades like the tough guy or the tough girl, or the comic, the recluse, the busy businessman, the know-it-all or the drama queen, just to name a few All habits that we create, or facades that we create to avoid the humiliation, condemnation and shame that life brings our way. Exposure number two is different. Exposure number two, which we'll get into now, is intentional. Its purpose is healing. Exposure number one is involuntary. Exposure number two is voluntary. One is about pain and humiliation and shame. The other purpose is healing and restoration.

Nathan Vainio:

Consider Jeremiah 31, verses 18 through 20, where Ephraim is crying out from captivity, and notice how submission to God is the prerequisite attitude to exposing sin. There's a phrase in here that says I was ashamed of my past. Humiliated, I beat my chest. Look for it here in just a second. More importantly, notice how God responds to those who submit and expose their sin before God. It says something to the effect here, right at the end Everything in me cries out for him. That's not Ephraim talking about crying out to God. That's God saying everything inside me cries out for him, cries out for Ephraim, softly and tenderly. I wait for him. Let me read it in its entirety, starting in verse 18. This is God speaking. By the way, quote I've heard the contrition of Ephraim. Yes, I've heard it clearly saying now.

Nathan Vainio:

Now, this is God, quoting what Ephraim is saying in a prayer towards God. Ephraim saying you trained me well. You broke me a wild, yearling horse to the saddle. Now put me trained and obedient to use. You are my God. After those years of running loose, I repented. After you trained me to obedience, I was ashamed of my past, my wild, unruly past. Humiliated, I beat my chest. Will I ever live this down? And now comes God's response to Ephraim. Oh, ephraim, my dear son, my dear dear son, my child, in whom I take pleasure. Interesting phrase. Same kind of phrase, by the way, sorry, parenthetical thought here. It's the same type of phrase that God uses about Jesus at the Transfiguration, and he also uses it when John baptized him. Anyhow, oh Ephraim, my dear son, my child, in whom I take pleasure. Every time I mention his name my heart burns with longing for him. This is still God talking. Everything in me cries out for him, softly and tenderly. I wait for him. God's decree, the challenge Relationships, life in general and relationships especially, are an exposing process.

Nathan Vainio:

Family relationships, church relationships, any meaningful relationship, especially a relationship with God. More exposure, more intimacy, less exposure, less intimacy. One of the things that we have got to get our head wrapped around is the understanding that when hurt comes our way, if God is in it, it's not about shame and humiliation and hurt for the sake of hurt's sake. It's all about the need to deal with things so that the relationship with God can heal.

Nathan Vainio:

We see in this chapter 31 in Jeremiah, that Ephraim's at a place where he's like do that's his don't care moment? He had the don't care moment that caused all that pain, the rebellion, from early on in his life, but now he's at a place where he looks to the Lord and he says okay, listen, do what you got to do, I don't care. Heal the relationship. I love that phrase early on in there where he says now put me trained and obedient to use. Understand that if God is in this process where there is hurt, he's taking care of you so that the relationship can heal. And I should hope that we would all lay ourselves, lay our lives in God's hands and say I don't care what you walk me through, as long as you're with me. That's an okay, I don't care statement to make.

Nathan Vainio:

What's not okay is making the I don't care statement and flailing relationally or with your decisions in life and making some of the worst decisions that you're going to pay for in consequence for the rest of your life here on Earth or, god forbid, eternally. So how do you handle these moments? How do you handle this exposure? Are you prone to cast future consequence to the curb and say I don't care, I'm going to self-medicate, I'm going to take care of this myself, I don't care what it costs me or those around me.

Nathan Vainio:

Does perpetual pain push you that far and, unfortunately, keep in mind that that has an impact on someone's eternal address? Or are you ready to say, god, I don't care what it takes. I need you to make your words in Luke 4 and Isaiah 61 a reality in my life. I don't care what it takes. Like Ephraim save me, heal me, set me free, I don't care what it takes. I don't care what it takes, get it out by the root, so I don't have to deal with this for the rest of my life.

Nathan Vainio:

My prayer is that you'd get to the place where you can say I don't care what it takes, get to the root, get it all out so we can move forward. Guys, I really hope that you never find yourself at a place when you're standing at the front of a classroom and you mispronounce a word in this blessed English language. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. I apologize to anyone I may have offended with my poor pronunciation and the story thereof, but I hope you get the point. Life has a way of exposing us, incidentally or accidentally, sometimes intentionally, but my hope and prayer is that we would respond very intentionally and take those things to the Lord Until next week when we get back to our crash course through the Old Testament. God bless.